I’m Not A Saint Though?

Chapter 2

“You, you sold the family’s assets? What in the world are you talking about? By what right did you sell them?”

“Why wouldn’t I have the right? The family seal and all authority are mine. Grandfather transferred them to me before he passed away, saying that if they were left to my incompetent father, who only knows how to indulge in luxury, he would squander everything within three years.”

As I retorted with wide eyes, his face turned deathly pale.  It seemed he finally remembered that all he possessed was a mere title.

“Th-Then you’re saying you sold it all? Why on earth?!”

“For revenge, of course. I’m being pushed to my death by you, while you’re going to live happily ever after playing house with those lowlifes.  Isn’t that utterly unreasonable?  Don’t you think?”

“Hah!”

The trash let out a disbelieving scoff. It was understandable, considering I, who had always pretended to obey his every word, was suddenly rebelling and going off the rails.

But I was about to die, so what did I have to lose?

So I intended to speak my mind and get everything off my chest.

“Just how much, how much did you sell? From where to where?”

“From where to where? From the house you live in to the mines and businesses, everything. Ah, but I didn’t touch your accessories or those of your appendages.”

“Is that true?”

His face brightened slightly. He seemed to think that if he combined the jewels the three of them owned, it would amount to a considerable sum, enough to rebuild his fortune, but…

‘Yeah, dream on.’

I had no intention of giving the trash who sent me to my death any hope.

“About the gambling debt collection notice that arrived for you recently… I roughly calculated it, and it seems to be about that much. If you sell them and pay it off, you won’t be in debt.”

“You! You damn bitch!”

The trash was practically on the verge of collapsing. I thought he might become the subject of the funeral instead of a mourner, but well, that wasn’t my concern.

“Now that your curiosity is satisfied, get that filthy face out of my sight.  I’ve said everything I wanted to say and I’m about to die feeling refreshed, but continuing to look at that disgusting face is making me feel like crap.”

Waving my hand dismissively as if chasing away a fly, I hugged Nanny one last time and whispered secretly, “There’s nothing good to see if you stay here any longer, so go back, Nanny. Take good care of what I gave you. Don’t ever let that trash take it from you, understand?”

She, who had been listening blankly to my conversation with the trash, nodded with a determined expression.  As if she would rather die than let them take it away.

I watched with satisfaction as Nanny spread her dress wide to hide the box that had been tossed on the sofa, and then I abruptly pulled back the curtain of the quarters.

Then, I smiled brightly at the knight guarding the entrance and said, “Now, let’s go die.”

“Yes, let’s… Yes? You’re going already? There’s still some time before the ritual. Why don’t you talk more with your family…”

“What’s the point of dawdling when I’m destined to die anyway? And my mouth will only hurt if I keep talking to those people.”

“But still, it’s the last time…”

“Ah, stop with the useless talk and just lead the way!”

I urged the stammering knight and hastened my steps toward my demise.

With each step I took towards the altar, I heard the murmurs of the onlookers.

“How did the noble daughter of the Veloce family end up like this?”

“A legitimate daughter offered as a sacrifice in place of a bastard. How pitiful.”

“What’s pitiful about it? It’s only natural.”

“That’s right, the commoner women sacrificed until now were also someone’s precious daughters!”

“But that woman was born a noble and lived a life of luxury until her death.”

“Yeah, my niece was born into a poor family and suffered her whole life before dying! That woman had a happy life.”

“That’s right, are there only one or two women dying as sacrifices? No need for sympathy.”

“Isn’t that too cold? She bestowed many favors upon us commoners, unlike other nobles.”

“Yeah, who hasn’t received the relief food provided by the Dukedom?”

“Hmph, was that really for us? It was all to save face for her family.”

“That’s right, her death is a symbol of the abolition of social status. It shows that even nobles can no longer avoid responsibility in the face of this disaster!”

There were some who sympathized with me, but most reactions were cynical. They seemed to enjoy watching someone of a status they couldn’t even dare to look at die miserably.

‘Go ahead, laugh all you want.’

It was a death that even my own father, who shared my blood and flesh, didn’t mourn.

I didn’t expect to be comforted by complete strangers.

I walked with my back straight, ignoring whatever they were saying around me.

The place where I, walking so resolutely, finally stopped, was the altar prepared at the bottom of a dizzying cliff.

“Sacrifice candidate, show your respect to the Goddess.”

I knelt at the altar as instructed by the priest.

Then, the priest, after muttering a prayer by himself, sprinkled holy water on my head and solemnly declared, “Hereby, I declare Lady Shaen Veloce as the Goddess’s Beloved.”

My death, that is… my execution.

Even though I had already prepared myself for everything, all sorts of emotions swirled within me.

Anger at the disaster that appeared out of nowhere and turned the Empire into hell.

Resentment towards the Empire that chose the inhumane method of human sacrifice to appease that disaster.

And hatred for my father who abandoned me to save his bastard child.

All those negative emotions welled up inside me.

But what could I do?

It was irreversible now.

As I stood up in despair, a knight approached and extended his hand.

“I will escort you to the cave entrance.”

I was about to instinctively take his hand, but then I felt something strange and abruptly lifted my head.

The wind-swept auburn hair and deep hazel eyes were quite familiar.

“Sir Arthur? Why are you here…?”

Arthur Jayden.

He wasn’t an ordinary knight.

He was Crown Prince Declan Garnacha’s escort knight and the second son of the Jayden Earldom, in other words, the Crown Prince’s closest confidant.

‘Why is someone like him doing this here?’

Despite my questioning gaze, he only flicked his hand as if urging me to take it.

‘Well, it’s not a conversation to be had under the gaze of others.’

I took his hand and asked as we slowly ascended the cliff, “Why are you here, Sir?”

“His Highness the Crown Prince sent me.”

“…His Highness?”

“Yes, he ordered me to show you the utmost courtesy on your final journey.”

‘This is crazy.’

Courtesy for someone dying as a human sacrifice? Was he mocking me?

As I stared at him in disbelief, the knight added defensively, “His Highness is deeply saddened by your situation. He feels very sorry.”

“Well, if he truly felt that way, I think it would have been appropriate for him to at least appear here in person and show his face.”

That would have been the minimum courtesy to the citizens of the Empire who were dying meaninglessly because of this cruel ritual they created.

‘Sending his knight like this to deliver empty apologies is just cowardly.’

As I scoffed, he said, “He wanted to.”

“…?”

“His Highness wanted to do that. He wanted to meet you in person and apologize. He only sent me because he’s unable to.”

“Why couldn’t he?”

Had all the horses in the country died? Or was the road blocked by a landslide? Or had the Crown Prince’s leg been broken?

‘What great circumstance prevented him from even showing his face?’

As I stared at him as if challenging him to explain, he let out a low sigh and finally opened his lips.

“His Highness has been confined.”

“…What?”

I couldn’t help but be taken aback.

Confined? Why would the Crown Prince of the Empire be confined? What crime did he commit?  Or rather, who would dare confine the Crown Prince?

‘I must have misunderstood the meaning of confinement… Oh, come to think of it, I heard the Crown Prince opposed the Beloved system.’

I had heard rumors that the sound of him arguing with the Emperor, saying it was absurd to sacrifice innocent citizens to such a ridiculous superstition, had echoed down the hallways.

‘Could it be because of that?’

As if reading my thoughts, Arthur nodded heavily.

“His Highness feels a great sense of guilt for not being able to stop this terrible situation. And for the tragic sacrifice you have to make because of it.”

“…”

“Although he couldn’t prevent your death, he said he would find a way as soon as possible…”

“Are you kidding me? What good is it if a solution comes after I’m dead?”

I cut him off with a sullen retort. I knew that neither the speaker nor the one who relayed the message was at fault, but I couldn’t help it.

Who would say, “Oh, is that so! I’m overwhelmed by His Highness’s grace!” when being dragged to their death?

‘Still, it’s a relief that there’s at least one sane person in the Imperial family.’

Sighing deeply as I continued walking, I finally arrived at my destination.

At the gaping cave, a place that couldn’t be seen even an inch ahead, reminiscent of a beast’s open maw, my grave.

Staring blankly at the entrance, I slowly closed my eyes.

Memories of my earthly ties flashed through my mind one by one.

My ever-missed and longed-for mother.

My nanny who filled that void.

The butler and servants who were like family.

And…

‘Ugh, I should have trampled on that trash even more thoroughly!’

I was still angry even though I had donated all my assets and made them penniless.

I clenched my fists to calm my boiling insides.

Perhaps mistaking my action for fear, Arthur spoke in a sympathetic voice, “I’m sorry, Lady. As a male citizen not subject to becoming the Beloved, if there is an afterlife, I will surely repay this debt…”

“Don’t talk nonsense about an afterlife.”

What good would it be to be reborn into this shitty world?

‘It would be a hundred times better to remain as a ghost and watch the world without any worries… Huh?’

That’s rather appealing?

How great would it be if I could become a ghost and haunt that trash, tormenting them to my heart’s content?

If only I could watch them wither away day by day, tormented by me, a being without substance.

‘But do ghosts really exist?’

I couldn’t be sure since I had never seen one myself, but who knew?

There were countless ghost stories.

‘What the, this makes me want to die quickly.’

Perhaps my mind had gone haywire now that death was unavoidable, finding hope in such strange places.  I made up my mind.

To die as quickly as possible.

And if possible, to definitely become a ghost.

With my newfound urgency, I hurriedly bid farewell to Arthur.

“Thank you for accompanying me, Sir Arthur. You should go now. I think I need to go die quickly.”

And then I snatched the torch from his hand and dashed into the cave.

“Huh? Wait, Lady. Why are you in such a hurry to go to such a good place…!”

Arthur looked at me as if I were a crazy woman, but I didn’t care.

Because I really was a crazy bitch.